I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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