We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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