I'm drive I can fine osifer
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
