can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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