Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you had me at cake vodka
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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