Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We have started to decorate penises.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize