I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
