is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
