Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
