I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Drake has all the answers
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
