he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
