Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize