I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
