my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
