You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
where are my eyebrows?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
