so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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