I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
