please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
