There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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