You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
