I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
