The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
