well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
