Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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