I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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