Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you made out with another girl for some wings
True strength comes from lack of pants
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
