Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
