The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i will never coherently bang her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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