I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
