How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
