Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
