i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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