Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize