I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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