I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
