remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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