Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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