I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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