your parents love me but you hate me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
