Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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