Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
