Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
