I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
