I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
