So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
