lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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