Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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