literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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