I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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