Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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