You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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