I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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