the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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