the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
