Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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