She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My balls are so social today.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
