Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
