Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
