If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
