its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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