Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
