Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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