sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
