Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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