so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
