so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
