i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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