That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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